Colton Haynes is looking back at his troubled past with a touching message for his fans.
On Sunday, the 31-year-old actor shared several photos that are roughly a year old. While a few of the images show the Arrow actor resting in a hospital bed, others show him seemingly going about his everyday life. But one is a close-up selfie in which a mirror behind him shows several massive bruises on his back.
"Throwback. I don't want worrying about if I look hot or not on Instagram to be my legacy," he wrote beside the images. "I don't want to skirt around the truth to please other people or to gain economic success. I have far more important things to say than what magazine I just shot for or what tv show I'm a part of (Although I'm very thankful I still get to do what I love). I no longer want to project a curated life."
Haynes went on to express the importance of being honest with his fans on social media and the ways that it has helped him bond with others and shine a light on his previous downturns.
"I get immense joy when someone comes up to me & says that my willingness to open up about depression, anxiety, alcoholism, & addiction has helped them in some way," he continued. "I've struggled the past year with trying to find my voice and where I fit in & that has been the most beautiful struggle I've ever had to go through. Worrying about what time to post on social media so I can maximize my likes or being mad at myself that I don't look the same way I did when I was addicted to pills is a complete waste of why I was put on this earth."
Haynes concluded: "I'm posting these photos to let y'all in on my truth. I'm so grateful to be where I am now ( a year after these photos were taken) but man these times were dark. I'm a human being with flaws just like you. If ur in the middle of the dark times...I promise you it doesn't have to last forever. Love y'all ❤️."
This isn't the first time that he has openly discussed his hospitalization and battles with alcoholism, anxiety and addiction. He was one of three celebs who covered the May issue of Attitude magazine, and in his interview for the publication, he discussed how two events -- the death of his mother and his divorce from prominent florist Jeff Leatham, both occurring last year -- upended his life.
"I came out and, in a way, my downward spiral started," he told the magazine. "I felt extremely free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting was making me spin out of control. I got married and that didn't work out. That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right when that was going on, my mom died. That was only a year ago."
"At that point, I fell apart. My brain broke. I was doing this massive comedy for a studio, showed up to work and got fired on the first day," he added. "They said I looked as if I had 'dead in my eyes' - and I did. I think it was the best decision in the world to fire me. I got so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the pain I was feeling that I couldn't even make some decisions for myself. I was drowning in my own sh*t."
He also discussed when he realized that he had hit rock bottom and his involuntary time in a mental hospital that followed.
"I locked myself in a hotel room at the Waldorf Astoria in Beverly Hills for seven days and was found in my room with these bruises all over my body," Haynes shared, possibly referencing the injuries pictured in Sunday's post. "It looked as if somebody had beaten the sh*t out of me. I couldn't walk, so I was falling everywhere. I almost ruptured my kidney, ended up in the hospital, ended up on 5150 [an involuntary psych hold]. I was on such a destructive path that I could not function."
The ordeal caused him to temporarily lose sight in one of his eyes; he also experienced two seizures. Haynes then discussed checking into rehab afterward and the transformation it has brought about in his life.
"Once I went to treatment, I found this amazing amount of true love for myself," he said. "And started figuring out who I am without those vices, and recognizing the people in my life who lifted me up instead of tearing me down."
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