MARSHALL COUNTY, Ky. — Looking back on some of his most memorable moments, Ethan May took on a fatherly role for his Marshall County High School students.
But it was one day last year those instincts kicked in. "It was a cold Tuesday," he recalled.
Shortly before 8 a.m. on January 23, 2018, what he thought were construction noises – sounds from the school's expansion project - stopped him in the hallway.
"I guess I had chalked it up, felt like a hammer on metal or something," he said.
Those pops turned out to be gunshots. "I turned and started running. I saw a student-teacher from the classroom next door to mine coming down the sidewalk. Her face, shock and immediately burst into tears and that still haunts me," May told WHAS11.
Two students – Bailey Holt and Preston Cope – were killed inside the school's common area waiting for school to start. Another 14 would be injured. Bailey was one of Ethan's students – he was expecting her in class that morning. "I had several students in class that were shot that day as well," he said.
The trauma still real for so many. For May, that means continued counseling sessions. "She asked what felt good for me. For a while, I had told her originally the details and what I've been through. She asked if I shared that with anyone else and I said outside of my own family, no. It didn't feel ready, didn't feel right. It was too raw," May said.
May needed to make some changes in his personal and professional life so after school ended last spring, May moved to another out-of-state school district. But, the noises of everyday school activities was still too much for him. So in December, May walked away from teaching.
"For me and my journey, where I was at, I knew healing for me would mean to leave and to leave and get out of the situation. I don't regret that decision. I'm sorry for all of my friends and colleagues who are much braver than I am for staying," May said.
He will always be Marshall Strong and remembers how the community responded - from t-shirts to food, donations poured in in the weeks and months that followed. It was a gesture of goodwill when his school needed it the most.
May hasn't ruled out a return to the classroom, but he says for right now, it's not where he belongs. "I'm sort of taking some time to rest and deal with things as they come," he said.